So I know I’ve been back in the New York groove now for nearly two weeks so this post may seem a little late, but if I’m honest it took me a while to be able to sit down and actually comprehend how I feel about being back in the big city. I was home for two whole weeks over Christmas which was such a treat (did you see my latest vlog about it?) If you guys follow me on snapchat (michaelabear1), you’ll know that every year I literally start looking forward to my Christmas trip home in like, September! It’s funny, sometimes I think being away has given me a whole different appreciation for life at home in Ireland. People are just so friendly and warm and there’s something about being around your own people that makes you feel right at home, not to mention the beautiful Irish countryside and sights that I TOTALLY took for granted when I lived there!
If I’m being perfectly honest, I know that I am beyond blessed to be living in one of the most amazing cities in the world and working in a job that many people would envy, but personally being away from home is tough for me. I know I’m 25 and this may be silly to some of you, but my Mom and my Dad are literally my two favorite people in the entire world. They mean the absolute world to me and the fact that I only get to see them once or twice a year really breaks my heart. I think during this trip home, it became very clear to me what brings me happiness and fulfillment. And for many that might mean living the high life in New York or having a successful career or a lot of followers on social media, but for me, eventually I really think it’s being with my loved ones. The older I get the clearer it becomes that being happy in your every day life is the ultimate success in my eyes!
Life in NYC has it’s amazing moments, don’t get me wrong! There’s so many wonderful career opportunities, countless things to do and many adventures to be had. But sometimes it can be seriously lonely. I’m so lucky to have some wonderful friends over here and Cathal too, but there really is something missing not having your family around. Like you’d actually laugh at the silly smile I had on my face going into Galway to do some shopping with my Mom or sitting with my Dad watching The Late Late show, those are the little things you take for granted when you’re parents are close-by! I’m the baby of my family and my parents (Dad especially) make no secret about the fact that they miss me terribly and want me to move home ASAP and honestly the guilt definitely weighs on me from time to time! I mean think about it, you spend 23 years of your life raising your kid and taking care of them and then one day they just leave you! Isn’t that just the saddest!!!
That said, this past two weeks, I’ve been forced to do a lot of thinking. When I came back to New York I spoke with my boyfriend Cathal to brooch the idea about moving home to Ireland next January, or maybe taking 3-4 months to travel around the world before heading home. And truthfully he really doesn’t see himself moving home anytime soon, if even ever. And honestly I think my heart broke in a million pieces when he told me but after taking some time to step back and think about it I’ve come to the realisation that I just need to grow up a little! I mean, moving home next year just so I can be close to my family without any major career prospects really isn’t the most mature choice to make, even though I truly believe that home is where my heart lies! But for the moment at least, every aspect of my future lies in NYC. I haven’t even begun to achieve what I want to with my career and there are so many more opportunities here for my line of work. So I’m telling myself that I need to do whatever possible to make New York feel like my home, for the near-future at least! That might mean making a LOT of big changes to do with my current lifestyle, which scares me because I hate change lol, but you know with a few improvements to find my happy place here, I’ll hopefully stop feeling that longing for my real home so much!