Happy Monday Everyone! As many of you may know, I returned back to NYC last week after a wonderful little vacation back home to Ireland! This trip was extra special because it was my first time meeting my brand new niece, Charlotte! Honestly, I’ve never been around babies before so I wasn’t sure how I would react but I literally love her so much! She’s so cute and squishy and barely ever cries! I felt so lucky that I got to be there for her Christening which was the most beautiful day. The week went by so quick but I managed to do so many fun things like take a roadtrip to Dublin with Cathal (where I bought my first ever Chanel bag), visit the Cliffs of Moher with my Papa Bear and go for plenty of walks along Galway Bay with my fur babies! This was the first time since I started working at Teen Vogue where I completely shut off from work and I have to say it was so refreshing not to have two phones in my hand at all times!
Going home to Ireland is truly a bittersweet experience for me! It’s no secret that home is where my heart lies, so for weeks leading up to my trip I’m always so excited and counting down the days until I leave! And then I get there and make the most of my time with family and friends, but as the days tick down to coming back to New York I tend to get really anxious and feel a knot in my tummy! Every trip without fail, the last two days will see me holding back the tears at the thought of leaving my family again and coming back to the Big Apple! Now I completely know that reading this might make me seem like an emotionally unstable woman and don’t get me wrong I know I am so beyond lucky to have the life I do in New York. I have a cute little apartment, great friends and a job that many people would dream of. And I don’t want to seem negative, but the reality is that being in New York sometimes isn’t as easy as it seems. The day before I came back this time, the only words I could find to describe how I felt was like someone was about to push me off a diving board into a freezing pool of water. I felt like I was leaving behind everyone I loved and a lifestyle that I crave to return to a place where work consumes my mind 24/7 and the pressure is on to always be achieving goals and finding success.
I’ve flown over and back now enough times to know that this is the way I’m always going to feel, and that the best thing to do is just accept it and know that after a couple of days back in NYC, things will start to feel normal again! Whenever there’s days when I wake up missing home I try to keep myself really busy and do things that remind me why I do love it here! Sometimes that means meeting up with some friends for brunch, going for a walk around the Upper East Side and Central Park or even going to The Plaza Hotel for a sweet treat and some fro-yo. The best thing to tell yourself is that there’s so many people all over the world who feel the same way you do from time to time and that really it’s a blessing because it means your really lucky to have something so wonderful that makes it so hard to say goodbye! Everytime I do come back though, I ask myself how much longer I’ll stay until I move back and it’s a hard decision to make. Like I said in my post last January, my reasons for wanting to move home are because I love my family and my dogs but at the end of the day, while that’s what makes me happiest in life, it’s not necessarily going to put bread on the table! Something clicked on this trip home that made me feel more determined than ever to get the job done and achieve what I set out to achieve here in NYC so that I can hopefully get all of the best experience to bring back home with me someday soon!
